


Machine

by trashface



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, M/M, boy do i love high school au's, characters will be added along the way, eren is a good jock boy!!!, rating may change depending on how im feeling, the squad is basically jocks ngl, these boyz are saddd, they good tho, this started off as a vent bc of certain issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashface/pseuds/trashface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin didn't understand why he always felt so cold and empty.<br/>He never knew why he felt like a tin can, slowly rusting away.<br/>Armin forgot what it was like to feel his heart pound against his chest.<br/>He forgot what it was like to feel love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heterochromia

**Author's Note:**

> Armin is not a robot. You may have thought that due to the summary, but it's just that since Armin does feel so empty, one might compare him to a robot. Also this is my first Eremin fic which is surprising bc i've been in this fandom since the dark age and i've shipped this ship since god knows how long.  
> also its 1 am on a tuesday so i apologize for any mistakes.

I just didn't understand.

I never really knew why a weirdo like myself was somehow clumped into a group of stoners and idiots.

Really, we were quite an unlikely bunch. We weren't exactly the nicest as well. Of course with the exception of myself. I was kind to pretty much anyone as long as they were nice to me.

Maybe that was my downfall.

Often, I would question how this whole group came to be, and why they even wanted to be my friends. But anytime I would bring this topic up, someone would dismiss my question and say that it was because "You're smart Arlert. We need at least one brain in here". _Ah, right. How could I forget._

They would then go back to doing whatever they wanted while I watched. Some would smoke, others would engage in sloppy make-out sessions, and the rest would play video games. It was like a cycle. Each day, a different person would be doing one of those three activities. Our friendship was a machine that was run by cheap gasoline. 

In the machine, there was one gear that would remain out of the main cycle. Some might even say that the small gear was pointless. It just sat there on it's phone, speaking every once and a while.

That gear was myself.

I would interject when needed, but either than that, I remained silent for the most part.  

It somehow worked though.

With our broken and battered machine, we just ran like we were supposed to. Things may have not felt perfect, but it was how the machine operated. 

That is until a malfunction appears within the machine.

When one faces depression, everything falls out of order.

The machine breaks even if that one useless gear breaks.

My grades started to fall just like my mood. I went from having straight A's to fleeting B's. My future seemed bleak and my life just sucked.

My dreams of being a scientist felt like a fantasy to me.

People would try to make me validate my sadness, but I could never explain it.

Everything just felt cold to me.

My life hadn't even taken a turn for the worst yet.

The day had started normal enough. My body was running on multiple anti-depressants.

After third period, I had grabbed my books from my locker and made my way to class. Along the way I saw my group of 'friends' crowded together as usual. 

"Yo, Arlert."

I spun around to see them looking at me. Instantly, I felt my books get smacked to the ground. Within two seconds I was on the floor, feeling a warm liquid fill my mouth. My vision blurred for a few moments due to the impact of whatever had hit me. I was confused and terrified, yet it hurt my head to think. 

"What the fuck? I failed my math test thanks to those shit notes you gave me. It's like you put no effort into them at all!"

There was a ringing in my ear, but I tried to ignore it as I felt my face pressed against the cold tile. 

After the initial blow, I was prepared for something else, but they just walked away. Now I was even more confused, but it hurt to keep my eyes open and it even hurt to breathe. 

Within my line of vision, I could see my books spread across the floor along with some loose papers. I wanted to get up and reach for them, but I couldn't move.

Instead, I settled for curling up into a ball and crying. A warm liquid started to dribble from my mouth. I heard what I assumed to be blood drip onto the ground.

I knew what had happened, my friends had left me. I knew this was going to happen, yet I wasn't prepared for it to happen so soon. 

I thought I was prepared, but as I felt cold tears slide down my cheeks and mix together with the fresh blood, I realized nothing could've prepared me for this. 

I wasn't needed anymore. 

With my failing grade, of course I'm of no use.

That's all I can offer to anyone. My intelligence. 

Without it, I'm useless. 

I pressed my knees farther into my chest and my cries turned into tiny hiccups. My whole body shook as I took in a shallow breath.

My life sucked.

 _Everyone hates you._ ~~No.~~   **I know.**

 _You're just too smart for everyone._ ~~That's not true.~~   **I am.**

 _You're useless._   ~~Stop it.~~ **You're right.**

_**Everyone thinks you should just die.** _

"Shut up!" 

I felt my voice rip through my throat and burn into my lungs.

 Everything felt numb. My body felt empty and I felt more alone then ever. 

It was unfair. Life was unfair. I'm unimportant-

"Woah buddy, you alright?" 

A firm, yet warm hand clasped onto my shoulder. Thinking that it was a teacher based of body language, I shot my head up to instantly start heading to class.

But when I was faced with the most iridescent eyes I'd ever seen in my entire life, I realized that it wasn't a teacher.

There's no way that a teacher could be that lovely.

The first thing I noticed was his eyes. I noticed the specks of freckles resting against his cheeks, ever so subtly. They made a trail up to his eyes, like constellations. One eye was a crystal green, and the other one was a golden amber.

I was mesmerized.  

 _Heterochromia._ "That's what it's called." 

I hadn't realized that I had said that out loud until the boy gave me a confused look.

"Huh?" He looked amused, yet concern clung to his expression.

Once I returned back to where I once was, I felt tears slowly filling my eyes again.

"Woah there. Don't cry kid. I don't know how to help but uh, how about a juicebox? No, you probably need some caffeine in your body. Wait, shit you're bleeding man. I got some gauze I just gotta find it-" The boy continued to ramble on as he rummaged through his bag.

I rubbed at my nose, attempting to wipe some of the snot away. It was pretty much useless though, as each breath I took turned into a shaky sob.

Snot was mixed together with tears and blood, which was absolutely disgusting. My sleeve was covered in the mystery gunk, and I was just thrilled for the new stains. 

At the moment, I couldn't even manage to pull myself together. There was this boy in front of me, and I couldn't even speak.

That being said, I didn't even know who he was.  

While the boy was frantically going through his bag, I tried to figure out who the hell he was. My focus zoomed in on the scruffy haired boy.

 _Did I tutor him?_ I think I would remember tutoring him.

 _Was he in any of my classes?_ No, someone like him certainly would stand out. 

_Did anyone in my gro-old group buy drugs from him?_

I observed his attire and I came to the conclusion that he certainly didn't look like a dealer.

Of course, that doesn't mean anything. 

He wore a maroon jacket with yellow sleeves. It was tacky, yet it seemed to look decent on him. I looked at the fine details on the jacket only to realize not only who he was but also what he was.

He triumphantly pulled out a can of Coke and whispered a small 'aha'. 

His jacket read in all caps 'Eren Jaeger'. 

I felt my heart flutter and I didn't know if it was out of fear or another emotion.

He was a jock.


	2. Coca-Cola

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we meet the knight in shining armor. except he's not wearing armor.or shining. or a knight. honestly he's kind of a dork with jagged teeth and a bottle of coke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowe this book is already kinda popular? i didn't really expect that so,,, thanks!!! also this chapter is a lil rough and kinda short :/// i wanna try to make my chapters longer but yeah... thanks for all the kudos and comments!!!

_I should've pieced it together right away._

It's not like I'm oblivious to what goes on in this school. Plus it's kinda hard to not pay attention to the jocks. You turn a corner and suddenly there's a poster promoting any sports team. 

Especially ones of Eren Jaeger, aka the boy right in front of me. Those posters were inevitable to avoid. 

He was a superstar known for being ruthless on the field.  

Even though he was basically a monster in sports, he was apparently one of the sweetest guys you would meet. 

Or so they say. 

Disregarding his personality, the boy was talented. He could play literally any sport in existence. The list of colleges that wanted him was practically to the floor. 

Also, he was pretty much the face of the athletic department.

To simply put it, everyone loved him. Guys loved him, girls loved him, even strangers would still feel that certain 'charm'. 

And considering that this is probably the first time he's ever even acknowledged my existence, I know way too much about him due to gossip.

I know that he has a hot-headed rival, Jean Kirstein, who is also his best friend. 

I also know that he has an over-bearing sister named Mikasa. 

What people mainly like to gossip about him though, is his girlfriend. Annie something-heart. People enjoy to talk about how they're the unlikely couple. She's all edgy and cool, and Eren's apparently not edgy or cool at all. Which for a while, I really didn't believe. 

Boy was I wrong to doubt them.

The moment that the boy's dorky smile didn't falter as I stared blankly as him, I knew just how wrong I was. His teeth were sort of jagged and certainly crooked. Not to the point of jacked up teeth, but he would probably benefit from braces. 

Everything was silent until he decided to clear his throat.

He lightly shook the can of Coke in front of me, trying to catch my focus.

"Dude, I know you hit your head, but are you just gonna sit there with sludge dripping down your face?"  

I snapped out of the trance I was in and began to feel anxious suddenly.

I was staring, but I certainly hadn't meant to!

Despite what people say, what if he actually is a mean person? 

What if he sees me as nothing more than a punching bag?

As these thoughts started to flood into my mind, my lip quivered.

I didn't want to feel so weak, yet I felt no restraint on wanting to cry. 

"Ah, no. God damn, don't cry again. I'm trying my hardest. Do you not like Coke? I can get you something else." He hovered around me, not really knowing how to comfort me. If I wasn't so close to having another breakdown, I would've found it humorous.

Not knowing if I should react or not, I reluctantly laughed and he nervously smiled. "I don't know if you laughing is a good thing." His teeth protruded from his mouth almost looking like fangs of some sort. 

Eren was definitely _interesting_ to look at.

Part of me viewed him as attractive, but my mind was such a mess at the time. It was hard for me to distinguish what was real versus fake.

I opened my mouth to say something but before I even got the chance to speak, he interjected.

"I'd say it's a good thing."

 _"Does this boy ever stop?"_ I thought to myself.

Instead of speaking up, I weakly shrugged. Maybe I didn't even need to talk if he was planning on blabbering this much. 

"Here," He passed me the can of Coke. It was room temperature, and I wondered how long that can had been hiding in his bag for.

"You probably don't want to drink that right now. I don't think blood tastes good with pop." He jumped up then proceeded to hoist me up from the ground. My legs felt like spaghetti as I stood up and my vision blurred for two seconds.  

"First, let's get you all cleaned up and patch those cuts of yours up." Eren began to lead me towards the nearest washroom. Along the way he continued to rummage through his bag, grabbing some medicine and other items from within.

"I'm Eren by the way, if you couldn't already tell by the tacky ass jacket."

I wanted to laugh and tell him " _Yeah that jacket is pretty tacky_ ," but I only managed to crack a timid smile. 

"You are?" He asked as he started to unroll what I assumed to be gauze. 

I looked down at the ground, scared that my voice would crack, or maybe not even come out. 

"Armin." Blood bubbled up within my mouth and started to slide down my chin. Quickly, I wiped it away, staining my sleeve even more. The inside of my lip felt like it was torn to shreds. I didn't even know where the blood was coming from. Everything just hurt.

"Well Armin, let's get you all fixed up." We entered the washroom, but I stood in the doorway not really processing what was happening. 

My mind continued to fill up with different reasons as to why I was in this position.

_Maybe he was just helping me out to build his reputation. Or maybe he wanted me to do him a favour. Or maybe-_

"Why are you helping me?" My voice wavered as I spoke. 

Eren whipped his head around and looked confused. "Because you're bleeding? Plus you look like someone fucked you up bad."

I shook my head at him in denial. "If you want help with your homework or some shit like that, I can't help you. You'll just have to find another loser." 

"Where'd you get that idea?" Silence. 

I looked him up and down, clearly staring at the jacket. He followed my eyes and then got the memo. "Oh I see." He scoffed.

"You think that just because I'm a jock I'm stupid?"

His tone had suddenly become harsher, causing me to tense up 

Eren, noticing my squeezed eyes and clenched fists, immediately apologized.

"No wait, I didn't mean that. I mean, I am kinda stupid, but that's not why I wanted to help you. To be honest, I didn't even know you were, well, a nerd- wait. No, I didn't know that you were smart- no wait, that still sounds mean." He continued to ramble on and on and I felt myself having trouble keeping up with him.

"It's just," He finally slowed down a bit "You were curled up in a ball on the ground surrounded by a pool of blood. I wasn't just going to ignore that." 

I met his eyes to realize that they held no hostility, as figured.

Wait, _as figured?_   Was I really going to judge who he was based off rumors and spending five minutes with him? 

Was I going to trust some popular jock to tend my wounds like a how a mother cat would nurture her kittens?

As he patted the counter motioning for me to sit down, I decided that yes, I'd trust him. 

Just for this little bit. 

He began to dab at my lip with a wet cloth. Each time he touched the gash, my skin would sting.

"I think the inside of your lip is cut too. Let me see."

As if on queue, more blood began to dribble out of my mouth. I opened my mouth, causing blood to pour out like a fountain. It was gross, but Eren continued to fix me up.

"If you're worried about grossing me out don't worry. I've seen people get their teeth smashed out." 

A pitiful chuckle escaped my lips, even though it wasn't supposed to be funny. Eren smiled though, and rinsed the cloth out. 

"Despite that outburst of yours, you really don't say much do you?" Eren said as he stuck a piece of gauze on my nose. I hadn't even realized that my nose was bleeding. 

"It's not that," I said causing only a little bit of blood to bubble out. "It's just that I haven't really gotten a chance to speak."

He nodded then gestured me to open my mouth more. "I do tend to ramble on. It's a habit of mine." He said as he stuffed a cotton-ball right between my bottom lip and teeth. The cotton acted not only as mop for the blood, but also as a barrier for my speech. Me not talking really didn't change anything though.

After five to ten more minutes of Eren mindlessly speaking and patching me up, Eren started to pack his materials up. "We're just gonna have to leave you as is for now. You might need to get that lip of yours checked out."

To confirm, I ran my tongue across the inside of my mouth, tasting a minimal amount of blood.

I don't know how he manged to do it. "As for the cuts and other stuff, that's all fine and dandy." I looked up at him to see his stupid toothy grin.

"So," I turned to look at myself in the mirror. 

My nose had clearly been bleeding as there was traces of dried blood left underneath. There was a band-aid resting against my cheek, obviously concealing a scratch. I didn't even want to look at my lip.   

To describe how I looked was nearly impossible. The only way I could think of my current state was, dead wild animal left to rot. Even my eyes looked dead and empty.  

"You sure you're done?" I asked as I touched the forming scabs.

Eren stopped gathering his my supplies up and looked me up and down. "Like I said, I've done all I can. But, you should still go see an actual professional. This is just meant to tie you up for one game."

I looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean one game?"

A look of realization hit Eren. "Sorry, I meant a couple of hours. I've had to give people quick fix-ups in games before, which is you know,"

"About a couple of hours." I finished for him.

Eren snapped his fingers in response. "You bet."

Eren zipped his bag up, then swung his bag over his shoulders. "If you ever need help again, just call your friendly neighborhood jock."

I nodded then gave him a genuine smile.

"See you around Armin." He gave me a quick wave then left the bathroom.

As I waved back, I felt a small pool of anxiety in my stomach. I didn't know what it really was or what made me feel that way. All I knew was that it made me feel nauseous.

"Also!" The loud voice broke my thoughts once again. My head snapped up to see Eren's head popping back into the bathroom

"Don't forget that Coke I gave you." His head disappeared again right away and I was left with a grin on my face.

"I won't." I softly whispered to myself.

My eyes fell to the can of lukewarm Coke. I stared idly at it for a while, before cracking it open and hearing that satisfying noise. Slowly, I sipped my drink tasting a small amount metallic blood mix with the carbonated soda. For a few moments I just sat there processing what even happened. 

_Well first, I got beat up._

_And then well, Eren came to help me._

I winced at the thought of how pitiful I must have looked to Eren. I also dreaded what was to come of my frie-my old friends.

Would they ignore me? Was the punch just a spur of the moment? 

Or will this become a recurring thing?

 _"If you ever need help again,"_ I heard Eren's voice again.  _"Just call your friendly neighborhood jock."_

I looked down into the the dark liquid, smiling to myself. 

This whole situation made no sense from start to finish. The events that took place less than thirty minutes ago, felt like old memories. 

My life felt like it was floating around in limbo.

_Who the hell was Eren Jaeger and why did he give a damn about anyone but himself?_

The drink fizzled and spat at my face. I took another gulp and decided that not everything needed to be answered right away. 

Even if I wanted it to.


	3. Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin has a dilemma and continues to hate himself.

Life continued to tick along after my encounter with Eren.

Months passed by and it seemed as though I was just floating along in this limbo.

It was like meeting the dreamboat never happened.

He would pass by me in the hall, laughing with his friends in such a carefree matter. I don't know why, but I liked seeing him laugh. Yet, seeing him that way also stung me for some reason. Despite us only having a quick conversation I thought he might remember me.

It was stupid.

Eren was a busy person. Still, it didn't stop me from feeling slightly upset. Eren made me... happy. Just for a brief moment, but it still was nice.

When I see a can of coke crushed on the ground, I subconsciously smile to myself. I would walk by him and feel the room temperature raise. Hell, I even went to a couple of his football games and I actually enjoyed watching him play. I didn't know who I had become.

Who the hell is Eren Jaeger even?

Somehow, he waltzes into my life for 30 minutes and now, I constantly find my mind drifting to him. Whether it's him running through the field like nothing else matters, or even him doubling over in laughter, I can't stop thinking about him.

"Hey Armin. You okay?" One of my lab partners, Marco, nudged me out of my daze. Right in front of me, two station away, was the muscled back of a certain football player, which caused me to fall into an unintentional trance.

"Oh!" I said ripping my gaze from Eren's back. Currently, he was hunched over, staring in confusion at our lab assignment. He would make exasperated noises from time to time which made me feel... conflicted.

"Sorry I'm fine." I explained now giving my full attention to Marco. "What are we doing again? I blanked out."

Marco only chuckled, then slid his sheet over to me. "Well, we're trying to figure out which solutions are acidic and which ones are basic. Also," He tapped a spot on the paper with his pen. "We need to figure out the exact pH of each one. Easy right?"

I exhaled. "Yeah, I don't know how I forgot that. It's easy as pie!" I bent down so I could be level with the solutions. "I honestly don't know where my mind is right now."

Marco followed my lead and bent down next to me. "You sure you okay?" He placed a hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "You look a little red."

Clearing my throat, I attempted to brush away the question. "Yeah! Yeah," I repeated. "I'm fine! Great actually!" I broke our eye contact by looking back at our work, all while pretending to be deep in thought.

"You know, Armin," Marco leaned even closer to the point where our noses were almost touching. "You don't have to pretend."

My eyes went wide and I moved back in response. "What do you mean by that?" I replied in a calm manner in an attempt to cover my previous reaction.

"Well, how do I word this correctly?" Marco rubbed his neck. "I know you losing your friends was really hard, so if you ever need anyone to sit with, Sasha, Connie and I always have room for you!"

Oh.  _Oh._

"God, that?" I said releasing the tension in my body. 

Marco nodded then took his hand off my back. "Yeah. We all really think you're cool Armin! Plus, we all agreed that you're too good for your other friends."

I laughed at that, eyes crinkling and everything. "Thank Marco. I appreciate the offer." He returned the smile.

"But," I started. "For now I'd like to avoid eating in the cafeteria." With each word his smile began to falter. 

"Ah. Okay, I see." He bounced on his knees, and shot up from the ground. 

"It's nothing personal!" I stuttered while jumping back up to my feet. "It's just, I want to- I need to lie low for a while, at least until this all settles down. I also think that you and your friends are cool and I'm not saying no, I just need to stay away from there for a while-"

"Armin," Marco interrupted my endless stream of consciousness. "I understand. I do."

My hands gripped at the sides of my cardigan, partially from fear of Marco being angry, but also out of force of habit. 

"You do?' I asked cautiously. 

Marco flashed a quick smile at me then nodded. "Of course. Just know that if you need to talk," He grabbed my hands. Marco was warm, and inviting. It was a common feeling, similar to how I would feel around a brother. "I'll always be here." 

The bell rang simultaneously after my heart-to-heart with Marco. Marco released my hands and I felt a sudden lack of comfort.

"See you around Armin. Text me if you need anything." Marco waved bye to me as he left the lab. I found myself standing alone in the empty room, with no one except for Ms Hanji who was repeatedly tapping their pen on their desk.

"Hey, Ms Hanji." Their eyes shot up at the sound of my voice, causing me to jump in the air. "I was," I stuttered, trying to regain my composure. "Just wondering if you needed help with anything."

They furrowed their brow, looking deep in thought. "As far as I know I'm alright Arlert. Nothing I can't handle. Why don't you go eat lunch? Enjoy your freedom." Their wide eyes instantly went back to the page they were writing on, leaving me to feel slightly out of place. 

"It's really no problem! I can help clean beakers or I can-"

"Arlert, go enjoy your lunch. I honestly have no work for you today." Their gaze remained on the paper, which had frantic scribbles scattered across the page. "I'll email you if I need anything, okay kid?" 

Throat feeling dry, I nodded then turned away from them. "Thank you Ms Hanji." I muttered as I left the room.

Since my usual choice of hiding out in the lab to clean wasn't going to work, I had to use my second option, the washroom. 

It wasn't that bad once you got over the smell. No one was ever in it, except for the rare occasions where couples would stumble into the washroom to make out and maybe squeeze in a quickie. That's when the headphones go in to block out any unnecessary noise.  

I entered the washroom to reveal an empty room.  _Perfect._

I opened the door to my usual stall and sat down on the cold toilet seat. Better that it's cold over the alternative. 

As I fished my lunch out and opened it, a note fell onto my lap. 

At first, I questioned who it was from. Possibly Marco, maybe Hanji telling me to get some rest. But as my eyes glazed over the distinct flow of cursive letters, I knew that it was from my grandpa.

 _"Armin,"_ It read. " _I know that things have been hard lately, despite you not telling me everything. I hope you've been taking your medication lately! Whatever you're going through, I hope you know that I'll always be here for you. Whenever you're ready to talk about how you're feeling, I'll be here to listen. Until then, I love you dearly my beautiful grandson. With love, Gramps_"

Beside his name was a little heart with a smiley face. It made my chest swell with pain. I hadn't even notice the hot tears slipping down my face until landed on the paper. The salty tear caused the ink to bleed across the message, ruining it. 

Tightly, I gripped the note and held it close to my heart. Sobs overtook my body and I could no longer control my breathing. 

I was pathetic. 

All of the choices I had been making in my life lately had been piling up in a place known as the 'regret bin'. Instead of sitting with Marco and his friends, I chose to sit on a cold toilet, alone.

For the past while I had felt so alone, but really, I had so many people looking out for me. All I did was push them away. I even locked myself away from my own grandfather, the man who raised me like his own kid. Did I even bother to think about how worried my Gramps was about me? 

With each word, I released a sob. I couldn't tell how I was feeling. My emotions were just one big mess that I couldn't understand. 

Somewhere in between my cries, the washroom door opened, forcing me to cover my mouth almost instantly. 

Sneakers squeaked against the tile. The room was suddenly so quiet now that I wasn't crying. As I inhaled slowly, I felt my whole body shake. In result, a sigh escaped my mouth before I could stop it. 

"Hello?"  _Oh god no._

He only needed to say one word and I already knew who it was. 

Now was not really the time I wanted to have another run in with golden, dream boy, panty wetting Eren-fucking-Jaeger. Especially because both times we've actually had a conversation together, I've had snot dripping from my nose. Not exactly the most splendid image.

"You okay?" Eren rapped his knuckles on the door, causing me to halt my breath once again. 

I didn't respond out of fear for what I might say. Currently, my brain was so scrambled that I couldn't even form proper sentences in my mind. Part of me felt like I wouldn't even say anything; just sob as soon as I opened my mouth.

"Dude, I heard crying when I walked in. Don't worry! It's okay! I don't judge. " Eren's voice was oddly comforting. It was different from the tone of Marco's voice when he comforts me. It was more raw than Marco's. Like he was also feeling my pain. 

As much as I wanted to open the door and just flop into the boy's arms out of sheer exhaustion, I knew I couldn't. I was half-paralyzed, half-asleep as I sat perched on the toilet. What could I even say?  _Hey, last time you saw me I was beaten up and bloody, why do you never talk to me? Was my bloody face that hideous?_

Part of me was a little angry at Eren for not even smiling at me in the hallway, but deep down I knew I was being ridiculous. Eren literally knows the entire school and I was only a tiny fish in a big sea. 

"I can help if you-"

"I'm fine!" I finally spoke up, which inevitably caused my voice to crack a little. I would've probably crawled into a hole and died if Eren mentioned the hitch of my voice, so thank god he didn't. 

"You sure?" 

"Mhm. Positive!" I said lying through my teeth. "You can leave."

The room became engulfed by silence. Water dripped from the sink, echoing through the washroom. 

"You don't sound okay..." 

I let out a sigh. I didn't want to have this discussion with Eren. 

"I'm fine Eren!" His name slipped from my mouth, and it was too late for me to save myself. 

"Oh! So you know me? Do I know you? You do sound familiar." The question stung me a little. I figured Eren didn't exactly remember me, but I still hoped that he would. He was...enjoyable. It would've been nice to have been on the football players mind. 

"Yeah, we've met." I unlocked my stall door with a click. The door creaked open to reveal Eren's face. His eyebrows were drawn together in concern, which soon melted into surprised ones. 

"Armin?" Eren breathed. 

"Oh. So you do remember me?" I asked with only a slight edge to my voice. 

"Yeah of course! It's kinda hard to forget your bloody battered face." I snorted, causing snot to bubble. Quickly, I wiped away the mucus with my sleeve, desperately hoping Eren didn't see it. His cheeky smile told me otherwise though. 

"Well it's good to know I'm not just a forgotten charity project." I remarked, gaining a head cock from Eren. 

"I...I don't- I'm confused Armin." His brow returned to his knitted state. "Why would you say that? You're not a charity project." Our eyes locked together for a brief moment. Not wanting to maintain eye contact I made my way to the sink. 

Adjusting the nozzles, I finally settled on the perfect temperature. As I splashed the water on my face, Eren spoke up again. 

"Are you angry at me? I don't know I can't really tell." I rubbed my eyes with my non-snotty sleeve, drying my face as well. My gaze settled on Eren's reflection in the mirror. He truly looked concerned for me, yet confused at the same time. 

Sighing heavily, I clenched my face. "I don't know either Eren. Maybe I'm just a little upset because I went from being at the top of my class to just suddenly, not being there anymore! Maybe it's because it's been a month and I still eat lunch alone, which might I add, is my own fault! And I don't know I thought you would maybe say hi to me?" I rambled on.

"Armin-" Eren whispered. 

"I know it's stupid because we're not friends like, at all, but I just thought you would say something. I mean we're in the same chem class, you could've even asked me what the symbol for calcium was!"

"Armin!" Eren placed his hand softly on my arm. "I don't even have your number." 

_Oh. Yeah._

"I'm sorry, really I am, but I didn't exactly know how to start up a conversation with you. Like, 'Hey remember when I tended to your wounds after your dickhead friends beat you up? Yeah good times'. No that's lame." 

I snorted at him, which ended up in me actually laughing at him. "I mean you could've." 

Eren smiled at me then fished his phone out of his pocket. He typed something into his phone then passed it to me. "Here."

On the screen, there was a page open for me to input my contact.

"Now I won't have any excuses to check up on you."

My eyes flickered up to his, and I began to openly stare into his eyes. I began to feel myself get lost in his heterochromic eyes. One eye was calm and soft like the ocean sea, while the other one was like looking right into an amber fire. 

We stayed like this for a while, until I evaded my eyes back to his phone. Quickly, I typed in my information with shaky hands. Once I finished, I noticed that his hand was still resting on my shoulder. 

Eren's gaze followed mine, and as a result, he slowly removed his hand to retrieve his phone.

"Arlert? That's your last name?" He asked humorously.

I shot him a look, that made his smirk drop. "You have no right to make fun of my last name Jaeger." I retorted.

"It's German for hunter!" He defensively said. "Well, at least that's what my dad told me..." 

After he said that, silence fell across the room again. Neither one of us really knew what to say anymore.

"So," Eren said breaking the silence. "Wanna talk? Or...i don't know." He paused, contemplating what to say next.

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "I'm okay." 

Our heads turned towards each other once again, and I saw Eren's eyes look me up and down. "Armin, the two times I've actually had a conversation with you, you've been crying." His voice was laced with worry. "Now, I'm no professional, but sometimes it helps to just, talk."

"It's fine Eren! Nothing that my medication can't fix."

His eyes locked with mine once again, and I suddenly began to feel warm. "I really don't feel like talking right now. I feel a little light headed at the moment." I said rubbing at my temples.

He hummed then nodded, maintaining eye contact with me. "I see." Eren abruptly turned around, retrieving his previously discarded bag. "Well," Slowly, he moved closer to me. "Let me at least buy you something." After, he gave me a toothy smile, showcasing his signature jagged teeth.

Curiously, I asked "Like what?".

In a slightly aloof manner, he shrugged. "Whatever you want. I know that personally, chocolate milk is great for when I feel sad."

I made an _'ah'_ noise, then proceeded to gather up my lunch. As I picked up my bag, I stuffed my Grandpa's note in my pocket before Eren could see. "Well, in  _that_ case," I said slinging my bag over my shoulder. "I'd be down for one of those mini apple pies from the bakery across the street." 

"Deal." Eren replied with a nod.

Taking a last good look at myself in the mirror, I noticed just how red my nose really was.

"Pinch the bridge of your nose." Eren said. "It helps take the redness down."

My face contorted into one of confusion. "Really? I didn't know that."

Turning towards the mirror, I began to pinch my nose for a few seconds. After repeating it for a while, the redness did in fact go down. "

"Wow. Thanks Eren." I softly said to Eren, which gained a heart-melting smile from the boy.

"Don't mention it Arlert."

Together, we left the washroom in silence once again. This time though, the silence wasn't awkward or tense. It was... nice. It was still a little awkward, but I found myself smiling.

In that moment, I decided that I definitely liked being around Eren. What did that mean? Truthfully, I didn't know. All I knew was that Eren made me feel genuinely happy. 

_I didn't need to figure out my feelings just yet._

"Also, I know I said that you could have anything, but that anything will have to under seven dollars, because that's all I have on me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG!!!! quick rundown on what happened. so basically, my anxiety got super duper bad and i got super duper sad :(((( i was in a really bad place for the past few months and i actually lost a bunch of friends (like armin!!!!! wow !!!) there were moments where I wouldn't move for like a whole day unless needed and I generally felt extremlyyy alone (losing friends can do that you) but im doing better right now so you can hopefully expect more updates now :)


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